Author: George Pitagorsky

George Pitagorsky, integrates core disciplines and applies people centric systems and process thinking to achieve sustainable optimal performance. He is a coach, teacher and consultant. George authored The Zen Approach to Project Management, Managing Conflict and Managing Expectations and IIL’s PM Fundamentals™. He taught meditation at NY Insight Meditation Center for twenty-plus years and created the Conscious Living/Conscious Working and Wisdom in Relationships courses. Until recently, he worked as a CIO at the NYC Department of Education.

Next Steps in Managing Conflict

Written by George Pitagorsky on January 2, 2013. Posted in Articles. 8 Comments on Next Steps in Managing Conflict

Pitagorsky jan2 FeatureArticle The October article Managing Conflict and Managing Emotions led to some reader submitted questions. Last month’s article, How to Mindfully Manage Emotions, addressed the question of how to cultivate the discipline required to recognize one’s arising emotions by practicing mindfulness meditation.

This month we will address the following questions that make use of the ability to step back and mindfully see the arising of emotions before they take over.

How do you distinguish what might be an emotional response from what might be merely expressing some feelings in an objective way?
What does one do, specifically, when there is an emotional reaction, especially at the early stage to prevent emotions from getting the best of the discussion?
What does one do when one discovers that one is getting emotional to stem the emotions and remain on an even keel and keep the discussion objective?

The Conflict Management Process

In my book, Managing Conflict in Projects, there is a seven step process:

“Stepping back to achieve objectivity
Focusing on the process to define how you will proceed
Analyzing, identifying and defining to better understand your situation
Seeking to understand so you get to know the parties
Facilitating to enable clear communication and healthy relationships
Addressing the issue and its content, and
Closing the conflict situation.”

The first step, Stepping back, is the one in which emotions are assessed and managed to achieve clarity and objectivity. The steps overlap and intertwine so that we are constantly stepping back throughout the process, not just at the beginning.

What Does It Mean to Manage Emotions?

One reader wrote “emotions are not manageable at all!” and went on to say that any attempt to manage emotions makes people upset.

Let’s be clear. What I mean by managing emotions is to be able to decide whether or not to let emotions display as behavior. Without that capacity we are slaves to our emotions, driven to act them out.

Managing emotions is something one does for oneself. We manage our own emotions, not the emotions of other people. Further, skillfully managing emotions does not mean cutting them off. It means experiencing them fully and then being able to consciously decide what to do next.

How to distinguish what might be an emotional response from what might be merely expressing some feelings in an objective way.

Emotions are feelings. There is a continuum of intensity from, in the case of anger, mild annoyance to fury. Expressing one’s feelings in an objective way implies that one is consciously aware of what is being said and done, what its impact may be and why.

Objectivity requires conscious thought and the ability to clearly see what is motivating speech and behavior. When passion arises because you are sure that your position is the right one, it is natural to express that passion. Will it help to reach an optimal resolution to the conflict at hand? If so then do it. If not then choose an alternative option, perhaps moderating the passion and expressing the content analytically so that facts as opposed to rhetoric make the point.

How to Stop Emotions from Getting the Best of the Discussion.

Once emotions arise there is likelihood that the content will take a backseat in the conflict. We are apt to lose track of the goal of achieving an optimal resolution. We can stop emotions from getting the best of the discussion by first recognizing them early enough to remain rational and then by bringing them to the surface by saying something like “I am feeling angry about the last thing you said about my idea being really stupid and I don’t want that to get in the way of our being able to look at the pros and cons objectively.” Or, maybe asking “You seem to be really passionate about your position, maybe we can step back and see if I can identify all the good aspects of your idea and you can do the same about mine.”

How to stem the emotions and remain on an even keel and keep the discussion objective?

Strong resolve, effort and mindfulness are brought together to manage the emotions. Once an emotion is sensed, mindfulness allows us to see it as phenomena that can be objectively observed. We do not become identified with and therefore driven by the emotion. A resolution to remain calm and focused on the objective at hand (getting to an optimal resolution in the case of conflict management) fuels the effort it takes to let the sensations of the emotion simply be felt without having to do anything about them.

One might take some conscious breaths, count to ten, or say something to oneself like “I seem to be feeling fear arising, I’ll just note it and get back to the discussion with a clear mind.”

Note that emotions are quite natural and seeing them clearly, without denying their presence or trying to eliminate them, is an integral part of effective conflict management and communication in general. The emotion is a signal that something important is happening. Heed the signal but do it consciously.

Please let us know what you think and submit any questions or comments about these issues below.

How to Mindfully Manage Emotions

Written by George Pitagorsky on November 28, 2012. Posted in Articles. 4 Comments on How to Mindfully Manage Emotions

The ability to manage emotions is critical to successfully manage conflict and relationships in general. Managing conflict and relationships are critical to successfully manage projects.

A reader raised a number of questions regarding my September article “Managing Conflict and Emotions”. Among them was the question “It’s good to say that we should be disciplined and recognize the rising emotion in ourselves and others, but how do you do it?”

The answer is to cultivate the ability to step back and observe your own thoughts and feelings as well as the cues other people exhibit. Mindfulness is the quality of mind that enables this step back.

“Mindfulness is objective awareness of thoughts and feelings. It is the fundamental enabler of self-awareness, self-management and relationship management.”[1] Mindfulness is the foundation for cultivating Emotional Intelligence, which is the ability to be aware of your own and other people’s emotions and to avoid being emotionally reactive.

Everyone is mindful to some degree. We have the ability to observe and self reflect. Over time this ability may be weakened and we may become less and less consciously aware of what is happening in and around us.

Cultivating mindfulness is done by doing mindfulness meditation. The process is simple:

Find a relatively quiet, private place and set a timer.
Sit or stand comfortably erect, eyes open or closed, your hands resting comfortably.
Take note of the sensations of your body.
In particular focus on the sensations of your breath.
Thoughts will arise; there will be sounds, smells and visual images.
Simply take note of them and bring your attention back to the sensations of your breath as it enters and leaves your body.
As soon as you realize you’ve become distracted or lost in thoughts, bring your attention back to your breath.

It’s that simple.

Do it for, say, 30 minutes a day. If that is too much, start with five or ten minutes and gradually increase.

Even if you don’t formally practice, you can purposefully stop for a moment every so often and feel you body and breath before reengaging in what you are doing. Train your mind to be consciously aware.

This exercise will improve your concentration and over time will increase the degree to which you are aware of the arising of the feelings that trigger emotionally driven behavior. You are training your mind to be more sensitive to your thoughts and feelings. As you do this, you become increasingly aware to whatever is going on around you, including the way others are behaving. Mindfully observing your own thoughts and feelings does not mean closing down to what is happening around you. You become increasingly aware of the subtle events in your environment.

How it works in practice is that because you can see the cues within yourself you can short circuit the impulse to raise your voice, lash out at others, withdraw or otherwise react. These cues may be a felt sense of constriction in your gut or chest, a tightening of your throat, etc. I assume everybody reading this article has experienced emotions.

Because you are more aware of subtle changes around you, for example the change in tone of another person’s voice, increasing reddening of their complexion, a shift in body language, etc. you can moderate your behavior to more effectively communicate and possibly cut through whatever may be triggering the other person’s reaction.

So we can train ourselves to be more sensitive to our own thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and perceptions, as well as to the way others respond.

This sensitivity to discern what is happening within and around you is a critical success factor for controlling your behavior, but it is not enough in itself. There is need for the intention to not be reactive; to not indulge the righteous anger or withdraw in fear or act out of the strong desire to win at all cost. In addition, there is the need to have the self discipline to change your mind, to be able to stay with the felt sense of the emotion without reacting. Not suppressing the emotion but feeling it completely.

That leads into the answers to some of the other questions posed in response to the original article:

How do you distinguish what might be an emotional response from what might be merely expressing some feelings in an objective way?
What does one do, specifically, when there is an emotional reaction, especially at the early stage to prevent emotions from getting the best of the discussion?
What does one do when one discovers that one is getting emotional to stem the emotions and remain on an even keel and keep the discussion objective?
In monitoring, what tips or tells will let us know the conversation is moving into an emotional area and it is time to take action?
You mention that emotions are often disguised as content, and that people don’t always know they are getting emotional or that someone else is doing so. How can you cut thru the disguise and how do you read the subconscious signals?
Finally, most organizations ignore addressing emotions because it (theoretically) has no place in the business. So what is an organization to do to address emotions?

I’ll be addressing these in future articles. Stay tuned.

[1] Pitagorsky, George, Managing Conflict in Projects, 2012, PMI Publishing, p. 32.

Don’t forget to leave you comments below.

Project Uncertainty & Estimating with Risk Management

Written by George Pitagorsky on October 24, 2012. Posted in Articles. 4 Comments on Project Uncertainty & Estimating with Risk Management

FEATUREOct24th “The need to relinquish our certainty lies at the heart both of modern science and ancient spirituality. From the Science of Complexity, Illya Priogogine tells us that “The future is uncertain…but such uncertainty lies at the heart of human creativity. It is uncertainty that creates the space for invention. We must let go, clear the space and leap into the void of not knowing, if we want to discover anything new.”
— Margaret Wheatley

Who doesn’t want certainty, particularly when it comes to project outcomes like meeting a scheduled delivery date, staying within a budget or producing something that people will happily and productively use or buy?

Well, it is clear that you can’t always get what you want. When it comes to predicting the future uncertainty is pretty much certain (with the obvious exceptions of death and taxes, where even the certainty of taxes is questioned by some.).

This is only a problem if you can’t accept not getting what you want. As soon as you accept the inevitability of uncertainty you are in good shape. By remembering that your estimates are estimates, not actuals, and that they are based on assumptions enables effective estimating.

Assumptions! Yes, whoever it was that said that assumption making was something to avoid, was wrong. Assumptions are absolutely necessary when it comes to estimating or otherwise predicting the future. The problem is not acknowledging that assumptions are assumptions.

Using assumptions the estimator builds a scenario – so many people will do so much work in so much time under some set of conditions. The scenario is the base for the estimate.

The clever estimator makes risk management an integral part of estimating. He or she will vary the assumptions to create alternative scenarios. Alternative scenarios provide the opportunity to assess the practicality of the estimate. Each set of assumptions is evaluated to determine its probability and impact on the estimate.

Nothing mystical here, it is management 101. The challenge is to actually do it in the face the common obstacles. Fear of pushing back against demands for quick estimates that simply show that irrational deadlines will be met is an obstacle. Not doing the hard work of building the scenarios and assessing them to find the one that is most likely to achieve desired results and set rational expectations is an obstacle.

The factors that drive an estimate are

Objectives (what is to be delivered),
The resources (people, machines, money, supplies, etc.) that will do the work to achieve the objectives,
Environment (where the work is being performed; the infrastructure, culture, geography, etc.)
Constraints (rules, regulations, budgetary limits, etc. that influence the work and the outcome)
Process or approach (the way the work is done, including tools, procedures and methodologies).

Change in any one of these multifaceted factors will cause a change to the estimate. Consciously play what if games by varying the factors through a range of possibilities. Attempt to minimize uncertainty by estimating based on practical expectations and by actively managing change as it occurs during project performance.

Do not expect to eliminate uncertainty.

Don’t forget to leave your comments below.

Managing Conflict and Managing Emotions

Written by George Pitagorsky on October 3, 2012. Posted in Articles. 4 Comments on Managing Conflict and Managing Emotions

A recent incident reminded me of how important it is to stick to the content of conflicts and how difficult it is to deal with emotions disruptive behavior.

As I point out in my recent book, Managing Conflict in Projects, there are two major categories of conflict – content based and emotionally based conflict. It is best to avoid emotionally based conflict and focus on the content. This is easier said than done for a number of reasons. For one, emotionally based conflict is often disguised as content based conflict. For another, emotions are extremely powerful and often hidden behind a wall of rationality, particularly in organizations.

Many people are so identified with their positions and with the need to win that anger comes up whenever anyone confronts them with opposition. Others are frightened into submission or lack the self confidence to engage in a content centered conflict. Often the individual is so habituated to emotional reactivity that they do not consciously recognize what is driving their behavior. They just act without reflecting on the impact of their actions.

To effectively manage conflict one must address the content through a communication and decision making process. The process is affected by emotionality and, often unconscious, conflict styles.

The content can be anything from decisions about vendor selection to estimates, to the cause and cost of a change in requirements. Content centered conflict is a good thing. It is an opportunity to find optimum resolutions that improve project results. For example conflict over a design or over a tactic in selecting a vendor can lead to an optimal resolution that would not have been found had one party’s position prevailed without opposition.

But, when the communication process is disrupted the ability to come to an effective resolution that is in the best interest of a project and organization is diminished. Anger leads people to turn to rhetoric, personal attack, even violence and lose track of the content and the mutual desire for a win-win resolution. Fear leads to people withholding their information and avoiding a healthy exchange of ideas and facts. People get lost in their emotional reactions. Satisfying personal agendas becomes the focus.

When faced with a conflict that moves into the realm of emotionality and disruptive behavior the healthy flow of dialogue, debate and decision making is disrupted. It is necessary to take action to avoid this and if it is occurring to address it and return to a healthy process.

Most organizations and many individuals do not do well in addressing their communication process, particularly when it comes to interpersonal exchanges and emotions. It is necessary to reflect on the cost of allowing emotionality to impact effective conflict management and to address the issue on a personal and organizational level.

On a personal level an individual can make it his or her responsibility to monitor emotions and mange them so as not to disrupt the communications process and distort the decision making. This means stepping back and being self reflective and disciplined enough to recognize the rising of emotional charge and taking control of one’s words and behavior to avoid displaying emotions in a way that would change the focus of the conflict from the content and work against the goals of a win-win resolution and healthy relationships. This is hard work that requires the cultivation of sufficient mindfulness and concentration to manage oneself and one’s situation. The individual must increase his or her level of emotional intelligence.

On a team or organizational level, the group must be made aware of the nature of dysfunctional conflict management and its cost. The organization that ignores this dysfunction is bound to perform less effectively than one that sets as a value for rational and effective decision making and then supports that value by teaching it’s members how to manage conflict so as to obtain optimal resolutions for individual conflicts or disputes while building and maintaining healthy relationships.

Emotions are a fact of life. They are to be acknowledged and not suppressed. At the same time reactive, emotionally driven behavior is to be avoided to achieve personal health and optimal performance.

Don’t forget to leave your comments below.

Status Reporting, Clarity and Accountability

Written by George Pitagorsky on August 29, 2012. Posted in Articles. 4 Comments on Status Reporting, Clarity and Accountability

FEATUREAug29th This article explores the formal reporting that is a foundation for managing by accountability, particularly in large complex projects and programs.

There is a naming issue. Some people use the terms progress, performance and status reporting interchangeably. Technically, a status report describes a point-in-time. A progress report looks at trends and estimates to completion. Performance reporting combines the two and brings attention to performance. The names are important academically but in the end they don’t matter.
More important, is the issue of taking the time and effort to prepare, publish and make use of performance reports. Where candid and meaningful reporting is relatively new or has been ineffectual, there may be significant resistance. Senior management must value performance reporting enough to motivate performers and managers to track and document their performance and regularly produce reports.

Looking Forward

The key point is to combine status, progress analysis and projections for use in tracking progress and making sure that stakeholders have clarity about how to manage the project going forward.

The principle focus in any project is on answering questions about what to do next and why. Project managers want to be able to plan next steps while considering prior expectations, the current state, resources and scope. Project reports become an audit trail that can be used for learning from past experience. Project reporting requires that performers step back from the action to reflect.

Managers also want performance reports to give information and insight into how performance can be improved and where improvement is needed most. Effective reports motivate performance by keeping the focus on what needs to be done and by creating transparency and accountability.

The Recipients

Who are the recipients and, hopefully, readers of the reports? This important question must be answered to fulfill the readers’ needs and preferences.

In any substantial project there are multiple levels of interested parties. Reports to managers, executives and other stakeholders must show the big picture – the entire initiative, program or project – and its current state in a page or two, including meaningful graphs and tables. Some stakeholders want only a one liner; a short paragraph or just a name and a traffic light.

Performers create detailed status reports or provide information at a task level to enable higher level reporting. Project performers, who know very well what is going on directly around them, get to see the big picture and where they fit in it. Performers can look at documented details to better understand the impact of what they do, how they are performing and how they can improve.

Levels of Detail

Ideally, higher level reports with broader perspectives are structured and coordinated with lower level reports so that readers can easily get a more detailed picture of a specific part of the project, if they choose to.

Each stakeholder should have a clear understanding of his/her role and how it relates to the responsibility to provide performance data and create and use performance reports and at what level of detail.

The content of a status report should be presented in levels of detail, mapped to the projects work breakdown structure, deliverables or activity list. The report addresses scope, time and cost. These three represent the traditional Performance Measurement Baseline. Scope, time and cost are objective and quantifiable. Their current state can be compared with a baseline. The project plan is the baseline. Regardless of the level of detail, report content must reflect the plan.

In general, a status report should contain the following (with activities or tasks from the project plan at an appropriate level of detail for the report audience):

Accomplishments – activities completed in the report period
Activities planned to be completed but not accomplished with reasons and expected completion dates
Exceptions (highlight critical issues, problems and items requiring attention by readers)
Relevant Metrics
- Schedule tracking (planned schedule vs. current state with projected completion date)
- Budget and cost tracking (actuals vs. plan with projected cost at completion)
- Number of deliverables (e.g., number of installations, number of completed modules
Status of issues, action items and risks (numbers of items by category with reference to the list)
Health status – Overall assessment of the health of the initiative or individual project being reported on
Activities planned to be completed in the next period.

Recap

Performance reporting enables a proactive forward looking view of a project, program or initiative.

The intent of is to inform stakeholders of the project’s progress and keep them actively involved in the project. The information provided will contain enough detail to allow stakeholders, given their role and level of management, to make informed decisions and maintain oversight of the project.

Higher level status reports should be in the form of a dashboard summarizing key metrics and highlighting critical issues. Access to details should be available.

The project plan is the baseline or reference point for all status reporting. Status information should be directly related to the project plan.

If performance reports are valued by management at all levels, particularly at the executive level, there will be sufficient motivation to the work required to produce them.

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