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Author: Neal Whitten,PMP

Choosing Your Goal to Achieve with a Mentor

The best way to learn the application of a profession, to enhance your personal development or to guide your career is with a mentor by your side when needed.

Everyone can benefit from a mentor from time to time. When you seek out a mentor, it’s important to already have a personal goal that you wish to achieve. So how can you determine that goal if you don’t already have one?

There are a wide range of goals that a mentor can help a mentee achieve. Identify the goal that you desire assistance on achieving. Here is a starter list of areas from which you can identify a goal:

  • Skills development. The goal here is for the mentee to learn or improve specific skills that can help her be more effective, more productive, more valuable to the organization and improve career opportunities. The skills can cover a wide range of areas such as effective presentations, negotiations, performance issues, leadership, building relationships, managing time, and planning and executing projects.
  • Career growth. The goal here is to focus on personal and professional development that supports a long-term career path. It’s about turning dreams into deliberate career moves. This can include the topic of life balance.
  • Problem solving. The workplace is all about problem-solving. Developing skills here can raise a mentee’s stock as he gains a track record for taking on and solving important tactical and strategic problems.
  • Ethical and moral guidance. The line between what is ethical or not seems to move from company to company, even organization to organization within a company. Careers can be shattered or at least damaged depending on the ethics that may have been violated. A mentor can help a mentee define and maintain a steady course through the ethical maze.
  • Navigating political realities. Politics within an organization or company are real. Understanding how to position yourself in these often complicated and ruthless waters is a skill that can greatly benefit a mentee’s career.
  • Networking. Professional connections can greatly benefit future opportunities. A mentor can open doors and help a mentee develop relationships that can make a big difference. Knowing people with the necessary knowledge and skills or people who know the people with these traits can offer payback for years to come.

Here are examples of additional actions you can take to help you zero in on where you might most benefit from a mentor.

  • Revisit your last performance evaluation. Are there any areas that were noted that you need to further develop?
  • Are there professional skills that you need to learn or improve upon?
  • Are you satisfied with the direction your career is trending? If not, what’s the secret sauce that is missing? For example, are you looking for more opportunity and responsibility, more recognition, more control over your day, more challenge, more excitement and more respect?
  • Review job descriptions for positions that interest you over the next several years. Then look at your skill set and identify areas to work on to help you qualify for those jobs.
  • If you are unsure of your natural abilities, take an aptitude test and solicit input from those who know you, including your boss. Hone in on job descriptions that would draw on your strengths.

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Make sure you identify a goal that is meaningful to you and clear to both you and a mentor. Although you can have more than one goal, I caution you not to make the mentorship too complicated and potentially overcommit or raise expectations unreasonably high. Therefore, I recommend you only identify and focus on one goal.

Once you have a better handle on areas where you could use a mentor, you will also be in a better position to select the appropriate mentor.

Choose a goal that is reasonable in the time allotted; not a goal that is too large, too ambitious or frivolous. But don’t choose a tiny goal that is too insignificant to justify consuming a mentor’s time and energy. Here are three examples of goals that could be incrementally attainable over a predesignated period of time:

  • Become a respected and sought-after project manager or business analyst
    (This goal might come from a person who is a relatively new project manager or business analyst and recognizes she has a lot to learn both about the hard skills of project management or business analysis and the soft skills. She is looking for a mentor who can also serve as a role model.)
  • Become adept at playing organizational politics to benefit career growth
    (This goal might come from a person who is good at his craft but feels that his lack of political skill is holding him back from reaching his potential.)
  • Achieving the elusive work-life balance
    (This goal might come from a person who is dedicated to being a high performer but recognizes that her non-work life significantly suffers.)

Many of us have learned and practiced bad habits for years, not realizing that there are better practices out there. A mentor can help you fine tune your skills, and discover your possibilities more quickly and effectively than you can on your own.

Let’s Talk About Awards and Recognition

The deepest craving of human nature is the need to feel appreciated.
William James, American psychologist and philosopher

All of us have an interest in awards and recognition. Here are some common questions I am asked on the topic and my responses. A portion of this information was derived from my book, Neal Whitten’s Let’s Talk: More No-Nonsense Advice for Project Success, published by Management Concepts, now owned by Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

Question

Who is responsible for ensuring that the right members of a project receive awards?

Answer

Resource managers must ensure that the appropriate project members are identified and receive awards. It is expected that the project manager—and possibly other project stakeholders—will be consulted to ensure that the right candidates are selected. Alternatively, the PM can discreetly initiate the identification of the award candidates and make a proposal to management.

Question

Why don’t you think the project manager has the duty to identify and distribute the awards?

Answer

Typically, PMs are not trained to know who is deserving of an award. The PM would likely nominate the “most valuable players” on the project. It is very possible that these MVPs are also the highest level employees who earn the most money. Even if these MVPs performed very well on the project, their contributions might not be awardable—they might only have done what was already expected of employees at that job level. Usually, an award is given to someone who has achieved results beyond what is expected from her at her level. Resource managers are expected to give their employees recognition.

Question

As a project member, I want to perform at a level that qualifies me for an award. Should I work with my resource manager to better understand the award process?

Answer

Yes. There are many ways an employee can earn an award for exceptional performance. Your boss is the best person to explain these methods. It is also a good idea for you to talk with your boss about your desire to perform at a high level so that he pays more attention to your performance and provides appropriate feedback.

Question

What are some ways an employee might be recognized?

Answer

Rewards might include a certificate of recognition, cash, a gift certificate, time off, permission and funding to attend a conference or trade show, a special training opportunity, assignment to a special project, or achieving visibility to company bigwigs—to name a few. Salary increases, bonuses, and promotions can also be given.

My suggestion to managers: If you are going to give a cash award, always accompany that award with a certificate. The cash will be spent quickly; the certificate will likely be prominently displayed and is the gift that keeps on giving month after month, year after year. And please, don’t give a certificate without cash. It’s disingenuous. Even a small amount of cash will be felt and appreciated.

Question

What if a project just completed successfully, and management gave the project manager and team a fixed amount of cash and told the group to determine how best to divide the award money among its members? Is this a good idea?

Answer

This is usually a bad idea, First of all, as I mentioned earlier, the PM and team likely will focus on who contributed the most to the project regardless of their position level in the organization. Project members at a higher job level are, of course, expected to contribute more than lower-level project members. Second, this approach suggests that management have weak backbones—they’re passing the buck and not doing their job to determine who is most deserving of an award.

Question

Do you believe that, in general, organizations and companies sufficiently recognize and award their project members?

Answer

Most companies perform weakly in this area. It is far better to err on the side of giving too many awards of too-high value than too few awards of too-little value. Awards don’t just reward top performers; they also encourage others to stretch themselves and perform at their best. The number-one reason why organizations and companies lose employees is that the employees do not feel appreciated. Awards are a great way to show that management cares about its employees.

Question

If the benefits of providing generous awards are so great, then why don’t more organizations and companies do a better job of administering an effective awards program?

Answer

The simple answer: These companies have weak and ineffective management. The three major reasons why so many organizations do so little to reward employees are: (1) They do not have a well-defined awards program; (2) they claim to have insufficient funds for awards; or (3) they have weakly implemented an awards program.

Question

Isn’t claiming to have insufficient funds for awards a legitimate argument?

Answer

In most cases, no, although this is a common excuse. I believe that a resource manager should set aside at least US $2,000 per year per employee for awards. This doesn’t mean that every employee will receive an award; in fact, many will not. They have to earn the award. Perhaps one employee might receive an award of $300. Another person might receive several similar small awards. Still another might receive a large award of $5,000.

Question

But $2,000 per employee adds up to a lot of money. Many organizations don’t have that kind of money.

Answer

Most organizations have the money. US $2,000 per employee is pocket change—lint in the dryer trap—for most organizations. Don’t tell me that $2,000 per employee is not available, especially in companies in which senior executives receive multi-million-dollar bonuses. Keep in mind that the cost to an organization of losing an employee can easily be $75,000 or more. The annual investment of at least $2,000 per employee as one effective way to show appreciation can indeed be a great investment in promoting high morale and reducing employee attrition.


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Question

I work for the government. In this organization, cash awards are unheard of. Any ideas?

Answer

Management is making a huge mistake if they are not actively looking for ways to fix this. Just because you are a government employee does not mean you care any less about recognition and awards. Even without presenting cash, there are many other methods of recognizing and awarding exceptional individual and team performances as I mentioned in an earlier Q&A.

Question

What do you mean by weak implementation of an awards program?

Answer

It is easy for many in management to lose focus on an awards program. Without oversight by middle and senior management, many lower-level managers will perform weakly in this area.

For example, it is relatively common for managers to talk themselves out of presenting awards for fear that some employees will feel that they have been overlooked or, if they do receive an award, it will be seen as too little, too late. There will almost always be some controversy when awards are administered. It is the duty of management to demonstrate a backbone and enforce an effective and consistent awards program.

Question

I feel that I am not appreciated for the value that I bring to the project or for the many little extra things I do. What can I do to gain more appreciation?

Answer

Most of us think that we are not appreciated as much as we would like—whether it be for the many small things we do throughout the week or for the challenging job we must perform. Our natural tendency is to focus on ourselves and our own deeds, not on the merits or deeds of others.

Focusing so much on obtaining the appreciation of others is not productive. Doing so can make you feel bitter and resentful. Instead, choose to be a person who does things for others. Do not expect “thank yous” and signs of appreciation, but when you do get them, enjoy the moment and appreciate them. If project members and peers do not seem to appreciate your skills and the value you bring to the job, let it go. Just focus on doing the best you can and making sure that you bring value to whatever you are assigned. Over time, you will likely prevail.

Question

Should I discus with my boss others’ lack of appreciation for me?

Answer

You need to work through this issue, so perhaps your boss can be helpful. But know that saying you feel unappreciated can be interpreted as a sign of professional immaturity or weak social skills. If you have a trusting, productive relationship with your boss, then go for it; otherwise, seek professional help or help from sources that have less influence on your career.

Question

What if my boss is not aware of my noteworthy deeds? Should I tell her?

Answer

Absolutely yes! It’s possible this is the only way your boss will discover some of these exceptional behaviors. For example, whether or not your boss asks for a routinely written status on your assignments, give her the update anyway. She will appreciate it when it comes time to evaluate your performance. The report should fit on one page if given weekly and two pages (one sheet) if given monthly. It contains at last these three key areas: (1) What you accomplished during the last reporting period; (2) what you plan to accomplish during the next reporting period; and (3) items you want your boss to know about. It’s the last category where you should toot your horn whenever appropriate. By the way, only toot your horn to your boss—nobody else cares.

Question

I have done the math: There doesn’t seem to be a sufficient return on investment if I work extra hard to achieve an award, particularly if overtime is required. If I continue to do what I am doing now, I will continue to see salary increases and job promotions—although maybe not as quickly as those with more ambition will. So why should I care about “extra” recognition?

Answer

It’s your choice. Many people derive a deep sense of satisfaction and fulfillment from their dedication to helping projects and organizations be more successful. Life is an adventure. I would not be as self-fulfilled if I woke up each morning just wanting to get by. Many people want to make a difference—leave their mark. I do what I do for the inner me. Ask yourself: If you owned the company, which type of employee would you want to attract—those who do only what is required, or those who put in the extra effort?

Is Overtime an Issue for You?

Working overtime hours can be a testy issue. Let’s look more closely at the subject of overtime.

Question

From a business perspective, how should overtime work be viewed?

Answer

Overtime work is often thought of as a safety net to ensure that work—especially committed work—gets done with the sense of urgency required so that the business thrives. Rather than temporarily hiring employees during peak work periods and laying them off when the workload subsides, businesses usually prefer that core employees meet the business need by working overtime.

Question

Do most organizations or companies view overtime similarly?

Answer

Every organization has its own culture. Some organizations don’t want their employees to work any overtime except in rare cases—and some of those cases would require approval from the employee’s boss. Some organizations pay their employees for overtime work. Some organizations are subject to union rules. In my experience, most organizations rely on and expect some overtime from their employees in order to meet their business objectives.

Question

How much overtime is a project member expected to work?

Answer

The short answer is: However much it takes, within reason, to get the job done. Understand, however, that the point is not to work more hours, it’s to get results. These results can be related to fulfilling your commitments or to meeting business needs that might surpass your commitments.

Question

What do you mean by “however much it takes—within reason”?

Answer

The answer will vary from company to company and depending on the situation. But in general, an employee may work as much as 10 hours a week of overtime—sometimes for many weeks or months at a time. However, if you are working more than 10 hours per week of sustained overtime, something may be amiss. You might be overloaded, you might require additional training, you might have unproductive work habits, you might be in the wrong job, or you might want to work the extra time because you love your job. Talk with your boss and PM if you feel you are working too much overtime.

Question

Are you saying that I should never have to work more than 10 hours of overtime in any given week?

Answer

No, I am not saying that. In fact, sometimes your overtime may exceed 10 hours in a given week, depending on the importance and urgency of the issue at hand. However, long-term, it is strongly preferable that a project member not be required to work more than 10 extra hours on average per week. Doing so could contribute to “burnout,” personal hardship, and other negative outcomes.


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Question

What if someone wants to work more than 10 hours of overtime each week? Would you allow it?

Answer

Probably, as long as no government or company rules are being broken and there are no safety, health, or security concerns. An employee who’s eager to make progress may get passionately caught up in a project. I respect that and can relate. If there were insufficient funding available to pay for the additional work, then I would work with the employee to find some other means of showing my appreciation. Examples might include giving her time off, funding to attend a relevant trade show or conference, an award, special training, a highly visible position, or a quicker promotion.

Question

I have heard that working overtime causes a person’s productivity and quality to suffer. Has this been your experience?

Answer

It depends. Some people might be less productive and might make more mistakes while working overtime if they are distracted by non-work-related thoughts. On the flip side, I believe many people who are highly motivated and focused are capable of excellent productivity and quality while working overtime. For one thing, they might get “on a roll” because they are able to concentrate on their work with fewer distractions than they would experience during normal work hours. Of course, working excessive overtime for a sustained period can negatively affect almost anyone’s performance.

Question

I am quite productive and can almost always get my job done within the standard work week. Do you believe that not working overtime is hurting my career?

Answer

Perhaps. You may be achieving the expected results based on your job level, but working overtime can help move the business further than it would go if no one worked overtime. And project members who are willing to go the extra mile are more likely to open doors to greater opportunities and promotions.

Question

Then are you saying that I am wrong to avoid overtime—even though I am able to get my job done within the standard work week?

Answer

It is not a matter of being right or wrong; it is a matter of choice. I cannot overstate the importance of an employee achieving what he believes is a healthy balance between his personal and professional lives. Naturally, the more we dedicate ourselves to something, the likelier we are to receive the recognition and rewards that go along with those achievements. It is a matter of personal choice.

Question

Then are you saying that working overtime is good for my career?

Answer

It depends on why you are working overtime. If you are working overtime because you made a mistake or are unproductive, then doing so might help you save your job. If you are working overtime to achieve more than is expected of you or because you volunteered to “save the day,” then, clearly, it will help your career.

Question

Should overtime be planned into projects?

Answer

On longer-term projects, no. On very short projects with a sense of urgency for the deliverable, yes, if overtime is appropriate to meet the business needs. Overtime is one form of buffer contingency. If overtime is planned into long-term projects, then those projects are at greater risk of failure to meet commitments. But for an urgent project that might be only days or weeks long, all project stakeholders might be asked to rise to the business need.

Question

When there is overtime on a project, is it a sign that one or more people have “messed up”?

Answer

Not necessarily. Projects can be quite complex and every project is unique in terms of technology, interpersonal relationships, budgets, business needs, client expectations, and so many other factors. Even on a “typical” project, overtime may be required as project members approach a major milestone and scurry to achieve the date on time. Of course, overtime can also be the consequence of having overzealous sales and marketing folks, inadequate or misunderstood requirements, poor estimates, weak planning and tracking, weak leadership, and a host of other ills.

The best-run projects, by the way, are not necessarily those that finished without overtime being required. Businesses should strive to constructively and consistently get employees to achieve a healthy level of productivity. Some overtime may be inevitable.

20 Fundamental Truths of Successful Projects

I have been around a long time in the project management profession—longer than most.

(Read: Old guy.) I have had some failures and a lot of successes. Listed below are 20 fundamental truths that stand out from my experiences. Although the focus is on the project manager, you will see that many of the lessons also apply to the business analyst and her or his team. Ignore this foundational guidance at your own risk.


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  1. The project’s outcome—whether hugely successful or a dismal failure—is mostly a reflection of the effectiveness of the project manager.
  2. Project managers must have the autonomy they need to succeed; but they must take it, not wait for it to be given. If you need to assume authority yet doubt that it is yours to claim, ask the project sponsor or your boss for guidance; however, better to err on the side of assuming too much authority rather than too little.
  3. Clients should get what they need, then as time and budget allow, consideration should be given to satisfying their wants.
  4. Create the best reasonable schedule, regardless of the original schedule set by senior management; then be prepared to defend that schedule.
  5. A good plan allows the project manager to establish control of the project; monitoring the plan allows the project manager to stay in control.
  6. Trying to force the proverbial ten pounds into a five-pound sack will make things far worse than first expected.
  7. Do not continue to commit to a broken Project Management Plan that is unachievable.
  8. Identify poor performers as early as possible and ensure they are receiving appropriate coaching and mentoring. Remove hard core underperformers from the project.
  9. The notion that anyone can learn anything in a short amount of time if it is important enough to the business and the individual is not true.
  10. If the client and users are not involved throughout the development of the product, you risk building the wrong product.
  11. Periodically solicit client feedback related to how satisfied they are with how the project is being managed. The most basic way to learn the expectations of clients is to ask them.
  12. Scope changes should be expected throughout most of the project life cycle. This ongoing fine-tuning is essential for the success of most projects.
  13.  Deliver bad news timely and accurately to project stakeholders; do not hold back or sugar-coat bad news.
  14. The discipline exhibited by the project manager and project members in the project tracking or stand-up meeting is directly related to the discipline that can be expected from them throughout the project.
  15. Don’t expect that a team behind schedule will catch up later.
  16. Don’t assume that a task reported by a team member as 90% done really is 90% done—the last 10% can take as long as the first 90%.
  17. The most effective project managers spend a significant amount of their time out and about—even if virtually—communicating with project stakeholders and inspecting what they expect from others. Most problems are not found hunkered down in an office.
  18. Projects typically don’t go from “everything’s good” to “failure” overnight. You make scores of decisions every week about your project. It is the sum of these decisions that will define the success or failure of the project.
  19. Listen to your instincts. They are a remarkable asset.
  20. Do not beat yourself up when you make a mistake. We all make mistakes. But do learn from each mistake and avoid making it twice.

Do You Have the Backbone to Negotiate Effectively?

Negotiating is a fundamental skill that you use virtually every day—far more than many people realize.

It plays a critical role both in the success of your career and your life outside of work. Every day you negotiate with your co-workers, with businesses, friends and family. For many, negotiating can seem confrontational, intimidating, and frankly a daunting task. My experience is that most people do not demonstrate the backbone to negotiate effectively—even though they would if they just knew what to do.

I’m going to show you what to do… by revealing 10 top practices of the most effective negotiators. Do you have the backbone to apply these practices? They are not in any priority order and are all important.

1. Be willing to walk away

When you begin the negotiation you should know the boundaries of an acceptable deal. If you are not sure of those limits then you are at risk of losing sight of the bigger picture of an acceptable outcome for you—what’s truly in your best interests. If it is clear that those limits will be breached, then be willing to walk away. When your counterpart realizes that you are determined to get a better deal, absent of which you have no hesitation to end the negotiation, the likelihood is high that your counterpart will work more creatively to satisfy at least your minimal acceptable requirements.

2. Make an aggressive first offer

According to authors Adam Grant and Adam Galinsky, in the book, Give and Take, research supports the strategy that people who make the first offer typically get a better deal closer to their target price. The first offer sets what’s called the “anchor price.” All succeeding offers use the anchor price as the point from which to negotiate.

Research also shows that the anchor price is often not aggressive enough. People are afraid to be too bold in the eyes of their counterpart and resist stronger first offers. Make your first position bold and aggressive. It’s possible you might even get it. Your counterpart can always counter offer and likely will negotiate the offer down. However, do your best to not set a ridiculous price. Doing so will cause the other party to doubt your seriousness. You want to be reasonable.

3. Use silence

Silence is a great negotiating tactic—a powerful weapon. Whether you are making an offer or receiving one, afterwards employ a pause—such as slowly counting to 10 but perhaps a much longer pause—to use silence to your advantage. This tactic not only can get the other party thinking more about your position but, for most people, silence during a negotiation feels awkward and they feel nervously compelled to say something. Before you know it, you likely have learned information that you otherwise would not have had—information helpful in your favor.

By the way, if the offer to you looks acceptable, there is still value in pausing before you accept it. Pausing helps your counterpart feel like they have squeezed out a good deal compared to you immediately accepting the offer.

4. Ask for more than what you want

Many people are embarrassed to ask for more than what they want. If you don’t ask, you will never get it. What could have been possible is only a thought rather than a reality. If you do ask, there is the possibility that you will get it. Top negotiators have no problem asking for the sky as long as the sky falls in the category of a possible and realistic outcome. They recognize that a huge mistake would be not asking. By not asking, you are passing up opportunities that will have affected your overall success.


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5. Show disappointment

When your counterpart makes an offer that you view not to be favorable, show your disappointment with a flinch or other small display of dissatisfaction. The objective is not only to present a reaction but to make your counterpart feel uncomfortable with their offer. This theatric can cause your counterpart to immediately make larger concessions in order to gain your visible approval.

On the flip side, if you like what you are hearing, you can reveal a small smile or configure your face to represent that you feel the negotiation is moving in an acceptable direction. Your counterpart will want to work hard to win your future show of approval.

6. Never feel rushed

Make time your friend. Patience is a virtue in the world of negotiating. You need time to convince others. If you have patience then exploit it. If you don’t, then acquire it. More often than not, your counterpart will reach a point when they are tiring and just want the negotiation to come to a speedy end. This is a point where your counterpart is willing to make concessions that otherwise appeared to be off the table. Your ability to outlast your counterpart can be a formidable advantage to reaching a more favorable outcome.

7. Invest in preparation

It has been said by many prominent negotiators that the most important element of a negotiation is preparation, preparation, preparation. When preparing for important negotiations, here are areas with which to focus: Brainstorm creative solutions that can satisfy both parties; Know what it is you want, what you are willing to concede and not willing to concede; Review past lessons learned from similar negotiations; Understand your counterpart and the issues that they are faced with; Consider engaging a negotiation coach; and Practice your performance, at the least, in your head but consider role playing with a trusted friend or colleague

Do not underestimate your counterpart—assume they have thoroughly prepared themselves for the negotiation.

8. Listen, ask questions and learn

Bobby Covic, author of Everything’s Negotiable!, said, “There’s a saying among negotiators that whoever talks the most during a negotiation loses.” Most people want to keep talking but good negotiators are more interested in asking questions and learning what their counterpart has to say. When you listen, your counterpart views you to be more sincere and approachable. Listening is an important step to building trust and respect.

Furthermore, negotiating should not be seen as a major conflict between two or more parties but instead as a process of discovery. You ask questions and listen. You probe and listen. You are gathering data that you can use to improve your position while learning about the other party’s strengths and weaknesses, their wants and needs. You listen to understand, not to focus on your next reply.

9. Keep your cool and maintain a positive mindset

The mindset that you initially bring to the negotiating table will be contagious to your counterpart. If you ask nicely and come across fair, most people will work harder at reaching a reasonable compromise. Negotiating is all about working with people. You want to establish a rapport, a bond of sorts. Begin the negotiation with a great attitude, confidence, enthusiasm and optimism. Turn potential opponents into allies.

Do not take things personally or make them personal while negotiating. Doing so can undermine trust, respect and interfere with maintaining a clear head. Resist yelling or verbally attacking your counterpart. Never knowingly say anything that is hurtful to your counterpart. You want to keep a pleasant and relaxed demeanor.

Remaining cool is not just about resisting a display of negative emotions about your counterpart, it’s also about not tipping your hand about your excitement regarding the item at the focus of the negotiation. Do not let your emotions betray your thoughts—maintain your best poker face. If your counterpart sees that you want the item being negotiated badly, then there can be little incentive for your counterpart to negotiate. Limit revealing your enthusiasm for the item; instead, unfavorably compare the item to other products or deals in an attempt to lower its value.

10. Go for a win-win

A win-win outcome is when both parties feel like they negotiated an acceptable deal, when their points of view have been satisfactorily considered and their respect for each other is likely on a high note. If these parties will ever negotiate again, both are likely to enter the negotiations with positive attitudes and a willingness to work well with each other. When you help your counterpart get what they want, you more likely will get what you want. You want to be fair and reasonable with your counterpart. For example, don’t expect them to give up something that does not give them an acceptable profit or allow them to save face.

– – – – –

When you become a better negotiator and see that nearly everything in life is negotiable, it opens your possibilities for a more fulfilling life.